Chill V Wayne

Please note: The following is Satire.



"Imagine a country without Chill, where one million people a year ( the number of people who rob ) would have to consider whether they may end up charged with a crime?"

On January 22 1973, the Supreme Court court ruled in favor of Joe Chill in the famous Chill v. Wayne case, which over turned centuries of discrimination against the profession of mugger.

Before that time, many muggers, finding their career choice illegal, were forced to conduct their business in back alleys; a dangerous proposition.
Many died of complications in botched operations. Business grew slow as most people began avoiding the alleys. And yet for fear of prosecution ( or more accurately persecution)they dared not enter the target rich environment of the main streets.

On that day, men, women and children rejoiced! No longer would one's right to mug be violated! No longer would the police chase someone for knocking down a old woman and stealing her purse! No longer would people be fired from their job should their boss find out that they had stabbed a man in the park and took his shoes!

But some people still see this as a "evil". They call it sin. This minority has much power, and wishes to force it's own out-dated religious beliefs on the rest of us. Using words such as "victim" and "innocent" in their rhetoric, they seek nothing less then the complete over turning of "Chill vs Wayne! They would plunge us back into the darkness and intolerance from which we so recently came. Our founding fathers always intended for people to choose the occupation of their choice. They never intended for the "rights" of targets to supersede those of muggers.

The right to mug is just one of the things that makes this country great! We can not stand idly by while our freedoms are eroded. We must come out of the alleys and onto the streets and proclaim our freedom to maim, kill and frighten others to get what we want!

Michael Weston

Please note: The Preceding was a satire of the arguments made for "Freedom of Choice".